Note to the 'rents

In preparation for my return to the States after two years in China, I sent a list of food requests to my parents (all things that have been conspicuously absent from my life in that period of time):

sliced turkey for sandwiches
good bread, something whole-grainy
bagels
OJ with medium pulp
lowfat milk
plain (not vanilla) lowfat or fat-free yogurt
whipped lowfat cream cheese with chives
goat cheese
sour dill pickles
baby spinach
grapes
strawberries/raspberries
Port (prefer tawny to ruby, but not a big deal)

This is what my Dad sent back:

K -

Thank you for submitting your request for your dietary needs. The management of this American Express Fine Property always welcomes catering to our guests' special needs and we are known for our friendly and efficient self-service. We wish you a pleasant stay at our establishment and look forward to your arrival.

The Management

(It's even funnier in person.)