Defining the life you want

NEW YORK, New York

Hip Tranquil Chick's most recent post is about defining your life as art. She raises a very interesting point about how to do so:

"What do you want to see — colors, players, life-defining moments, milestones? Let your canvas unfold into images that make your heart sing. If you don’t like what you see, how can you begin making small changes to make certain pieces of your life more prominently displayed and to lessen any parts that are overshadowing?"

Even a quick glance through the Master List of 1001/101 projects makes it clear that the participants want to change their lives from the one they have into the one they want. The list of 101 things that someone creates is all about committing to change, and making that list begins to define the life a particular person wants in very concrete terms.

What also needs to be defined are sense responses you want for your life: views, flavors, scents, sounds, and textures. In preparing for my monthly at-home spa night (#31 on the list), this idea was brought into sharp relief. Whether a professional spa or a home spa, anyone who goes into the experience hopes to come out softer, smoother, fresher, prettier. We hope to improve the texture of our skin, brighten the colors of our nails, calm our minds and our muscles. But any activity or treatment we choose reflects the life and body we hope to enjoy on a regular basis.

It isn't simply that we want to have clearer skin or softer hair; it is also about the sensual experience of the spa. Candles, music, flavored water, bath products, even the robe that you wear all suggest elements of your own personal definition. This is especially true of an at-home spa experience, when you can decide exactly what you want or need. Do you want scented or unscented candles, pillars or tea lights? Do you want flavored water, tea, or a glass of wine? A gentle yoga practice, a nap or a movie? Oil-absorbing clay mask or skin-soothing creamy mask? To some degree it may seem to be just what your body needs, but that is also part of the definition because your body is defining for you the changes that are necessary to bring it into its ideal state.

When we make up the goals we want to accomplish in the next 1001 days, we don't say, "Scent my home with lavender every Friday" or "Wear only silky pajamas to bed for a month." Somehow, the sense element often seems to be left out of the lists, replaced by specific goals to improve our lives and ourselves. Changing the sense elements around will also help with that, and making a tiny intentional decision about creating a particular sense response - whether with fresh flowers, a ripe peach, or just the color of the polish on your toenails - brings your definition of the life you want into sharper focus.